Words can be compelling and sometimes lead to dreadful sets of what-is-he-talking-about scenario. To portray courtesy in every day's relationship, we utilize the very best of our communication ability - saying "Hi" and questions like "How do you do?" or at least a smile to people around us. In short, living in a society pre-described above promised great deal for resuscitation after long day stretch.
However, does the end justifies the means? What is the real purpose of asking for somebody's well-being at the first place knowing that you cannot do anything about it? Ya, I know, most of us named it courtesy but what's the big deal of being courteous if one is lacking of sincerity? Is that how our real society work? So, what's the purpose of learning civic lessons in school remembering all the 80+ moral values (I don't know the exact amount because I don't wish to remember them for the sake of passing the paper - that's why I only managed to get an A2 for Moral subject during SPM, I guess)
Anyway, back to business, for instance, people used to ask, "Hi Tom, how do you do today? Or the least "What's up Clark?" To you whom the question is directed, of course, it sounds comforting but to the people who are asking for the sake of courtesy, that question just now is yet another rotten smirk conjured just for you to see.
Believe it or not, almost every time, the answer to such questions will be either "Fine, thank you" or "I'm great!" If you are skeptical, make it a try. You'll be surprised with random people giving almost the same answers! And how is that possible? Again, it's because of courtesy!
No matter what's your ordeal is at that moment - whether you are at the brink of an abyss facing the greatest emotional breakdown situation of your life or stranded in an agony of sorrow, still your answer is going to be "I'm okay!" Why? Again, courtesy!
So, the question is, since it is public courtesy and you realize no matter what the situation is, you always know the answer it is going to be, why ask? That's the different between being courteous and showing sincerity.
Phrases like "How do you do?" and "Are you okay?" can be good and bad at the same time. Good in a way that people is being comforted in a short period of time of course, but at the same time it is also a bad thing to ask depending on your state of sincerity. Will you ever help to the extend of beyond your horizon?
In any given evening, have you ever stumbled upon a scene whereby you are to ask an old folk about what he is doing, knowing that he is indeed virtually doing the gardening in front of you! What if he/she answered "Can't you tell, I'm doing the gardening of course, so, will you lend me a hand?" How will you answer to that?
Or, say one of your friend suddenly answered "I'm not okay right now, I'm fall short of pennies, will you borrow me some?" How much is "some"? or will you help if that someone is a complete stranger?
I agree some may argued that, at least somebody is caring enough to ask compared to someone who keeps his/her mouth shut at all denoting his/her lack of interest. Some may say, it all depends on the other parties trustworthiness. Of course you'll never lend money to strangers.
Absurd as it maybe, I still hold on to the notion that keeping our mouths shut somehow is favorable rather than playing with people's sentiment depending on to the situations as the saying goes silence is golden rather than busy but clumsy!
Watch out your courtesy folks. Till the next posting.
However, does the end justifies the means? What is the real purpose of asking for somebody's well-being at the first place knowing that you cannot do anything about it? Ya, I know, most of us named it courtesy but what's the big deal of being courteous if one is lacking of sincerity? Is that how our real society work? So, what's the purpose of learning civic lessons in school remembering all the 80+ moral values (I don't know the exact amount because I don't wish to remember them for the sake of passing the paper - that's why I only managed to get an A2 for Moral subject during SPM, I guess)
Anyway, back to business, for instance, people used to ask, "Hi Tom, how do you do today? Or the least "What's up Clark?" To you whom the question is directed, of course, it sounds comforting but to the people who are asking for the sake of courtesy, that question just now is yet another rotten smirk conjured just for you to see.
Believe it or not, almost every time, the answer to such questions will be either "Fine, thank you" or "I'm great!" If you are skeptical, make it a try. You'll be surprised with random people giving almost the same answers! And how is that possible? Again, it's because of courtesy!
No matter what's your ordeal is at that moment - whether you are at the brink of an abyss facing the greatest emotional breakdown situation of your life or stranded in an agony of sorrow, still your answer is going to be "I'm okay!" Why? Again, courtesy!
So, the question is, since it is public courtesy and you realize no matter what the situation is, you always know the answer it is going to be, why ask? That's the different between being courteous and showing sincerity.
Phrases like "How do you do?" and "Are you okay?" can be good and bad at the same time. Good in a way that people is being comforted in a short period of time of course, but at the same time it is also a bad thing to ask depending on your state of sincerity. Will you ever help to the extend of beyond your horizon?
In any given evening, have you ever stumbled upon a scene whereby you are to ask an old folk about what he is doing, knowing that he is indeed virtually doing the gardening in front of you! What if he/she answered "Can't you tell, I'm doing the gardening of course, so, will you lend me a hand?" How will you answer to that?
Or, say one of your friend suddenly answered "I'm not okay right now, I'm fall short of pennies, will you borrow me some?" How much is "some"? or will you help if that someone is a complete stranger?
I agree some may argued that, at least somebody is caring enough to ask compared to someone who keeps his/her mouth shut at all denoting his/her lack of interest. Some may say, it all depends on the other parties trustworthiness. Of course you'll never lend money to strangers.
Absurd as it maybe, I still hold on to the notion that keeping our mouths shut somehow is favorable rather than playing with people's sentiment depending on to the situations as the saying goes silence is golden rather than busy but clumsy!
Watch out your courtesy folks. Till the next posting.
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